okayyyyyy , so its been 1 month and 1 day since i … yes .. and about 1 month since i last blogged . lol sorry , everything that happens at school completely washes itself from my brain when i get home cause i get really depresss as soon as i enter the house .. which brings me back to square one .
so uhhs . yeah i still love him as much as i always did and its killing me sooo bad . he probably wont see this anyways so i can kinda let it all out . we don’t even talk and like OMFG i saw him yesterday which was the 13th meaning it would’ve been our 5 months .. but also it was the 1 month since we broke up . i know i’m pretty stupid for not being able to let go , but its soooo hard when you love someone that much .
sooo yeahs , i’ve been told that i should move on, and i’ve considered that and kinda have tried but its sooo not working for me . i’m not that strong but alot of my friends dont know that 
Sometimes i sit at home and wonder how it’d be if he had loved me, truly loved me yes,
I learned a while ago that kind of thing it never happens for me,
And so I go around and just pretend love is not for me
I play the circus clown around my friends make them laugh
U never let them see u sweat
Don’t want them to think the pain runs deep
So I put on my makeup, put a smile on my face
And if anyone asks me everything is ok
I’m laughing cause no one knows the joke is on me
Cause I’m dying inside with my pride and a smile on my Face
Sometimes I sit at home by the phone hoping he might call me
But he don’t call me
But then I Realize dreams come true aren’t for girls like me, not like me,
And so I go around with my head Up like it aint no thing
And when the boys around with all my friends I’m into other things
Cause you never let them see you sweat don’t want them to think the pain runs deep
Its not easy thing to do
Sometimes it’s hard to face the truth
It’s not the life that I would choose but what else can I do if he doesn’t love me
No if he doesn’t want me I’m not about to sit around let myself go
Tamia – Smile Lyrics
i really don’t have anything to sayyyy nows . i really wish he knew how i felt , but theres been rumours going around about him and he’s “relationship” with another which really hurts (U) . i’m like dying but yeahh . oh wells .
140509 : todayyyyyy in science , we were playing around . Jean, Maggie , Gee and i were measuring eachother’s eye lashes LOL ! . yes i know, i’m very happy at school but when i get home , its a totally different story .
My eyelashes : 1 cm
Gee’s eyelashes : 1.2 cm
Jean’s Eyelashes : 0.7 cm
Maggies eyelashes ( LOL ) : 0.4 cm !
anyhoes ; be back laters with more news about my progress and school shat and shat and more shat . laterrs
